What My 20s are Teaching Me About Growth, Friendships, and Life

Your twenties are often called the “defining decade,” and now I see why. It’s the time when you’re figuring out who you are, what you want, and how to build a life that feels true to you. Along the way, I’ve stumbled, learned, and grown—and here are a few lessons that have shaped me recently.

1. Growth & Consistency

One of the hardest but most rewarding lessons has been understanding the power of consistency.

Consistency doesn’t mean showing up every single day without fail—it means coming back after the days you miss. Living alone made me realize that my growth is my responsibility. As a child, your parents structure your life; as an adult, you have to do it for yourself.

I first tried learning to swim in 2022 and again in 2024, but I kept quitting whenever life got busy or sometimes just because of procrastination. By 2025, I finally realized the truth: consistency isn’t about never missing a day—it’s about coming back after the days you miss. With that mindset shift, I showed up enough times to actually learn the skill this year. And it reminded me that growth in any area of life works the same way.

If you stay consistent, even imperfectly, you’ll eventually outgrow the most talented person who doesn’t persist.

2. Friendships That Last

As we grow, friendships evolve. People move cities, fall in love, or get busier with work. Recreation time changes, schedules clash, and it can feel like bonds are fading. But true friendship isn’t about constant presence—it’s about trust, care, and reliability, even when life looks different.

I experienced this with one of my closest friends. For a while, I felt he didn’t care enough—we weren’t meeting or sharing our lives the way we used to. Finally, I voiced how I felt, and that conversation changed everything. We realized we both cared deeply but needed to put in intentional effort. Now, we dedicate at least one meal a month to catch up—and it saved one of my most cherished friendships.

And while all friendships matter, female friendships hold a special place. It’s not always easy to find women who don’t judge, compete, or get jealous, but when you do find those who uplift and understand you, hold onto them tightly. They are rare, and they’re precious.

3. Habits & Self-Care

Another lesson I’ve learned is how much small habits affect your entire life.

Take screen time, for example. I didn’t need research to tell me that scrolling endlessly ruins sleep—I’ve lived it. There was a phase when I found myself on Instagram until 5 a.m., and my sleep schedule, focus, and even my skin suffered. Breaking that cycle taught me how much control tiny choices have over how we feel every day.

Good habits—whether it’s movement, rest, or digital boundaries—compound over time and shape the quality of your life.

4. Relationships With Yourself & Others

At the core of everything, I’ve realized: life is about relationships. The one you build with yourself through discipline and kindness, and the ones you nurture with people who truly matter.

Careers, skills, and routines are important, but it’s the human connections and the ability to keep showing up—for yourself and for others—that give life its depth and meaning.

Final Thoughts

I don’t claim to have it all figured out—far from it. But these lessons remind me that growth isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness, effort, and showing up again after setbacks.

If you take anything from this, let it be this: stay consistent, nurture your friendships, and care for yourself. Those are the foundations that quietly but surely shape a meaningful life.